Dear marcuss:
This is my input after reading your post:
First, the title: struggling to not… be sad. Do not struggle to not feel sad, or hurt, or any feeling- learn to accept your feelings, not to fight against them.

Then, you mentioned you were homesick when you started college, and again, now before your internship. How did you deal with homesickness when you started college? Can you use some of the same ways you used then to apply to now?

It is difficult for you to be away from home and adjust to a NEW situation in a new place. This is difficult, therefore it is also a challenge, an opportunity for personal growth. It is something not to turn away from with repulsion, perhaps, but turn toward with curiosity and courage? In just a small step today?

When you do take your first steps dating a girl, do it cautiously if you can. Take care of yourself in that process when it starts. Take one small step at a time and evaluate. It is going to be different, I hope, than your relationship with your mother.

The things you are afraid of, if you can in a small step at a time, in a small measure, develop an attitude of curiosity (‘I wonder how this is going to be like…) instead of fear and hiding- come out just a little at a time with a bit of an adventurist spirit…
anita