@Inky I ended up sending the message and felt like a huge weight was lifted. He didn’t reply initially but a couple of days after just sent me a normal kid of friendly chatty messages and has been in contact more these last few days than at all the last few months. Talk about confusing?!?!

@Kat Thank you for your wise, lovely (by no means ‘preachy’) words shared above! I completely align with everything you say. As I mention in the lines above, since he started messaging me more on a friendship level, in my head I am getting carried away and reigniting old hopes like maybe he’s changed his mind and appreciated me standing up for myself when he said I’d changed. Who knows. Anyway I think you are right, it is healthier for us not to be in touch right now as it is all quite raw and if it continues I fear I may be left with more pain – springing from unrequited feelings and misplaced hopes from my side. I wonder if I should tell this to him and say that from my side I just need some time to step back and reduce the contact so I can heal and not create expectations in my head, and I hope he respects that?

Thank you again for both of your input into this, it’s so touching to know that other people on another side of the world care enough to respond to my (non!) problem!

With love,

Helen