Dear Sweet:
Good Morning (here it is), Sweet!

You wrote: “I am feeling so confident, Everything feels so good and positive to me.. Its such an amazing feeling to have a healthy and positive mind…” Yes, it is. And we have to accept the fact that this great feeling, mental experience can not be always there, unchangeable. I learned to not get surprised when a good feeling/ state of mind does not last forever. It is the nature of our brains and of life. Always changing. I learned and am practicing skills to help myself when I am feeling agitated, disturbed etc.

You wrote: “I accepted my fears and feel so confident, i dont mind him looking at the girls now…” The fears are likely to return and when they do, you can be prepared with a (mind) game plan, like surrounding those fears with a quiet space by taking a break from the wandering mind by focusing on sounds, focusing on the Here and Now, disengaging from ongoing thinking.

You wrote: “I wish this mind set remains the way it is….” Yes, it is a wish but not reality.

You wrote: “I wanna feel healthy I really wanna do so many things in life… Want to achieve something in life.. WAnt to learn but by comparison and by jealousy.. and Fear and insecurity. I am not living my life to the fullest.”Fear does stop us, imprisons us and when you feel good you want to FLY, to explore.

You wrote: “…the fear of losing something you posses, makes you mad…. These possessions i dont know they are wrong or right. Feeling of jealousy and insecurity but they honestly drains & makes you completely a different person altogether.” Yes, fear makes us shut down to the beauty of life, turns off our passion for life. And fear is not going away for good so we have to live with it well enough. Learn how to deal with it when you feel it, when it threatens you, use mental and physical skills when afraid. For example, part of you can observe the part of you that is afraid. When afraid, instead of ALL of you being afraid, all of you identifying with the fear, the part of you that is paying attention now, the part that knows better, can observe the scared part and figure out what to do to make your life better, specifically what to do in that space between the ears.

You wrote: “Yes coming back to my parents: Enough as in whatever you do, its always less to what they have done for you..”My position is that your parents CHOSE to have their children. The children did not CHOOSE to be there, so it is the parents’ responsibility to take care of the children. It is their legal responsibility. When the parents choose to help their adult children, again it is their choice, and unless they make a legal contract with an adult child, stating: ‘I will do this for you and you will do that for me”- they have no right to expect anything from their adult children. Making children feel guilty is not right. It is hurtful.

You wrote: “I just cannot deal with the things my husband makes me insecure for, thats the only challenge but this time i have adopted the trick is to embrace the fear and above all concentrate more on the positive things about your man than those tiny miny negatives for that moment.” Do what works for you- you get to try different ways of thinking and acting, experiment, evaluate cause–> effect and decide what is effective and what is ineffective; what works and what does not. This is your individual journey, discovery.

You wrote: “I… wanna learn in life… I have also learned that patience is also a key to resolve any problem.” I completely agree- and I am impressed by your ending this post with the imprtance of learning. Often UNLEARNING ineffective ways of thinking and acting and learning new ways that work!

I wonder how you are feeling today, later in the week…?
anita