Glet,

I think that sharing your fears and insecurities is a good step to move on.
what you have been through is not easy. Still, after darkness light always show up. You don’t have to be afraid of what is waiting for you, let your past strenghen you.. Life is beautiful for those who know how to deal with it.

Concerning your relationship with guys, I advise you to take a pen and a paper, write down all your memories, every bad feeling you experienced, all your fears.. you may cry while doing it, but it is fine, you ll be getting rid of it once for all. Then, tear that paper and throw it away.
I think this may help you to get over this.

Just one more advice. Don’t force yourself to forgive, relax and let time do its job…

Be fine 🙂

Sinpa