Just wanted to add that a lot of my current feelings of being inadequate come from realizing that when I’m living alone and single, I’m a slob, I spend my free time watching tv and pigging out and have no ambition. When I’m in a relationship, I’m neat, have hobbies and don’t show my lazy uninteresting side.

I wondered why I don’t do good things for myself when I’m alone. And I think that I would never let anyone that I wanted to date see the way that I live. In the past I’ve hidden this side and shaped up to show a side of myself that would be more attractive. I see others who live for themselves and wonder how to do that.