JD,

In keeping with the cake metaphor, consider that when you know cake is available, you might rush through the salad or not eat it at all. This leads to an upset stomach. We need salad, cake is a sweet option.

More directly, sexual joy is a bright light, flashy, absorbing, an escape. However, its the light of self nurturing that actually moves us toward happiness. Perhaps as you’ve been having some flings, you’ve not been taking the quiet time you need to process your experiences? To find and open up the quiet warm space inside you?

Most self indulgent behavior stems from this basic root. A sludgy feeling that goes away with a peak experience. Orgasm, cake, etc, cover up the sludgy feeling for awhile, so we jump from one to another. If we sit, rest, unwind, and then follow our inner intuition about what we actually need, the sludgy feeling disburses.

Have you been keeping up with your gratitude journal? Still exercising? Still eating well? Still meditating? Still (insert JD’s path of health items here)? If you’ve been trading some of those to go have some hookups, that might be what’s causing the frown.

With warmth,
Matt