Are you seeing a therapist for your BPD?
This is an important step towards recovery. CBT, DBT and changing your mindset.
I’ve known some high functioning people with BPD but it needs a clear focus in order to manage the situation as well as continued effort.
Undernourishing and self-sabotaging behavior is a vicious cycle. I don’t want to give you suggestions because I think you might already have heard plenty in the topics on self esteem, confidence, career changes, anxiety etc…

I strongly suggest seeking help on a regular basis because it seems you need someone to talk to in person, and it might be useful to read some of the articles on this website using those keywords that you are concerned with.