Nicole,

I’m sorry for your pain. It seems as though you should invest more of your time in finding some peace within. Break ups are rough and messy and painful – usually for both parties, even if that doesn’t seem to be the case since he has already found someone “new and upgraded”. That is a cruel thing to say on several levels, and a low blow. Small comments such as those, even when completely empty and false, have a severe effect on our alraedy fragile egos and shouldn’t be taken into consideration. No matter who this other person is, no one is better or worse than you are, and if they are a better fit to your ex boyfriend, may they be happy and find the liberty to be able to enjoy eachothers company without feeling the need to throw cruel remarks at ex’s.

What your ex boyfriend thinks of you, may mean something to you, because you have been very emotionally invested in him, but his opinion of you, which seems pretty empty and actually selfish of him, is only the way he says to view you. Those negative and harsh words usually come from a place of his own pain that he can not recognize, and even if that were not the case – what makes you think that you should view yourself based on his opinion?

What is important is what you think about yourself, which might sound cheesy and superficial, but is very true and deep if you really think about it. Reach inside and remind yourself of the wonderful person that you know you are, of what your values are, of the good you have done to people around you, and of all of your true and righteous intentions that have been there inside of you, even if he might have been too busy and self absorbed to see them. To potentialize your insight even more, I think another strong and wise way of getting past those words are to simply forgive him for causing you pain. That doesn’t mean it was okay for him to do so, but it means that you are a big person, taking the high road, and are letting go of remorse and spiteful intentions.

I hope you find peace and clarity.

All the best.