Dear Sweet:
This thread is just you and I – I wonder if it is appropriate to extend this thread further and farther… I saw some threads like this but ours is quite long and personal (like pregnancies…) Should we start communicating using our personal email addresses?

My husband too hates to be late and I make sure I am on time- even early. The other day I was drinking coffee (I agree I need to drink less) in the car while he was driving and some spilled on me. My first thought was blaming him- why didn’t he drive slowly- didn’t he see me drinking… I got irritated, a bit angry. I used to get irritated a lot with him – anyone really in his position- for not reading my mind or preventing me from making mistakes or for not looking at the situation better than I did to foresee problems I didn’t see etc. etc. etc. Looking at things from a child’s perspective, looking up to the “parent figure” that should know better than I do. The more adult I am in my thinking, the more responsibility I take for my life and the less blaming I do of others.

I don’t know if and how this relates to you- just sharing my stuff. It is tough you and husband settling in a different country- this is not easy stuff. You are both probably anxious and insecure at times. Maybe- I wonder- the title of the thread: “Dealing with insecurity, constant fear, negative thoughts.” I wonder if that would apply to him as well, insecurity, fear…? He probably feels insecurity and fear and has to be ‘a man’ about it… I wonder if he expresses such to you. I mean, it is tough for him too. I just hope you turn to each other for comfort very often, that the conflict is minimized and the comfort is maximized (sounds nice: conflict- minimized; comfort- maximized).

So, what do you think about the length of this thread and regular emails instead… I would write to you here my email address but I am afraid that … the wrong person will get it and well,, i have some fear about it here… may be irrational.

Take good care of yourself as well and may you and your husband take care of each other.
anita