Tulipsheepard,

I’m sorry for your difficult times, and hope you find some strength. It’s normal to feel sad after a breakup, and hating the very natural sadness that happens puts an extra layer on top of the already difficult grief. It’s like hating crying, and so when the tears begin to come, we punch ourselves in the cheeks. So we have the sadness and also bruised cheeks.

But the tears aren’t your enemy, friend, they’re part of the healing. They’re how we remember we’re human, have wonderful emotions, and the path we walked meant something to us. Such as, you tried really hard to make the relationship work, invested a lot of yourself into it, it mattered. And still, it broke. Of course there is sadness.

Consider, your mom might have difficulty with sadness, and so she tries to whitewash you. “Oh, stop it, you’re fine”. Some folks have difficulty being compassionately responsive to other people’s pain. Is your friend like that too? If you have no one, consider looking for a grief counselor or grief support group. Of course, you’re welcome to share more here on TB, many great huggers and wise souls.

Chin up, friend, your sadness reveals your beauty, it doesn’t obscure it.

With warmth,
Matt