Hi retrocabbage,

The same thing happened to me in college. I blame/d the month he spent in the city, the brief time away from the routine. When they are in a new place, they associate that with new life, and thus anyone from their old life is bland and boring. (LOL). Maybe he met someone. Maybe he went somewhere new. Maybe he did something new. Something happened to make him associate new = good and you/old = not as good.

I don’t view the 30 Day No Contact Rule as “Ignore Ex for 30 Days. Then, write a letter!!” What that does (at least for me) is “Aaahhh, how nice my new life has been… Oh, Crap, a Letter!!” No, you don’t want that!

I view it as, “Ex contacts you in the middle of this month. Ignore him UNTIL a full month has passed.” It has to come from him. Bump: IT HAS TO COME FROM HIM. Give him time to miss you, contact you, then get that FEAR that he blew it with you.

Only then can there possibly be a renewed relationship. (Considering he didn’t give a real reason why he broke up!)

And let’s say he doesn’t contact you until two years later and you’re still single. Don’t write/call him back right away then either!!

Best,

Inky

• This reply was modified 9 years, 3 months ago by Inky.