Dear Helen,
I don’t know enough about anxiety as a disorder, so forgive me if I say something that doesn’t ring right.

I think if you can get deeper into examining where your anxiety comes from, versus your intuition, you may be able to control your anxiety better? Or at least become aware of it?

According to the Upanishads (ancient Vedic writings), there are 5 koshas or layers of being.
1. Physical layer (Annamaya kosha) – your body has its own supreme intelligence. Every cell is connected and communicating all the time. When your body reacts with goosebumps, or shivers up your spine, or a heaviness in your chest, it’s your body speaking to you, giving you signals.
2. Energy layer (Pranamaya kosha) – your energy levels are very telling of how you feel – notice if you feel a surge of positive energy when you think of a certain event or a drain of energy when you think of a certain toxic person in your life. It’s your energy telling you the truth.
3. Mental layer (Manomaya kosha) – this is your mind – ah, where the root of a lot of anxiety and mental disorders come from, and the layer that all meditations are trying to soothe. Don’t get me wrong – your mind is a very powerful entity. Maybe too powerful for its own good, unless you can control it. When we don’t give it direction, it takes over, tries to become the master, and makes up its own stories and directions. These are the signals that can wring you dry because the mind can take both sides – it argues and acts only based on its previous experiences, and does not understand non-experience based intuition. When you can understand and become aware that the mind is constructing stories to convince you of its thoughts, you can know whether to use or ignore its anxious advice.
4. Wisdom layer (Vijnanamaya kosha) – this is the higher wisdom that’s underneath the processing / thinking aspect of the mind. This is the layer you want to gain access to, to make the right decisions.
5. Layer of Bliss (Anandamaya kosha) – this is the beautiful center of who you are – complete and pure bliss – if you can reach it and touch it. But because it’s covered with other layers upon layers, we very often don’t even know or recognize it, except in some undisguised moments. This is the core you are trying to uncover when you go into deepest meditation.

I know I do not have answers to speak to your disorder, but I hope this helps in understanding the bigger picture of where it might be coming from.

Namaste, Saiisha