Sounds like you’ve put all your eggs in one basket which may be unattractive to some females.
I’d say as long as she knows where you stand, time to back off. the ball is in her court. Time to pursue other interests, even other females, as she may not be taking you seriously. The fact that she is still seeing another guy occasionally is a red flag in my opinion.
The “real” her may not be as good as the “ideal” her that you have created.
I’m in my fiftees and looking back I know, I definitely idealised some women who didn’t really deserve it.
One other thing springs to mind. her “difficult” past may be a red flag too. it would be for me. She may not want to risk loving feelings towards anyone again. she may want to adopt a pragmatic, even cynical approach to life. OK I might reading too much into this.
Good luck.