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Dear Logan
I can relate to your struggles very much. Although my situation is different: I know what I want to do. I know exactly where I want to be. But I know in order to get there, I have to lead a “normal” and “boring” life until I get to live my dreams.
Instead of focusing on the negative of being like everyone else and leading a life you didn’t chose, try and make decisions in your private life and spare time away from work that excite you! Try and pick up a hobby, a sport, do some crafting or build something – whatever makes your heart shine 🙂 And then maybe you will find your passion – what is it in this world that makes you passionate, full of ideas, things you want to improve in your lifetime here? And then take baby steps from there so you can make your passion your job or your life one day.
I believe in you. All it takes is looking inward and finding out who you are and what drives you.
All the best 🙂
Helen