Hi Brian – as I’m reading through your post, it looks to me that all the activities you are trying to fill your time with (instead of drinking) involve other people – did I assume that right? Is drinking something you do because you can do it alone? Does it bother you to be alone, or rather having no one to spend time with? If so, that may be something you want to ask yourself questions about – because learning more about who you truly are can be an empowering experience. Who are you when you’re not drinking? Who are you when you’re alone? Who are you when you’re struggling to pass time? Who are you when no one’s returning your calls?

Are there other activities you can do alone and enjoy? I’d say invest time in yourself – try to figure out what makes you laugh, smile, enjoy; try to remember what you loved doing as a child that you could spend hours doing and not even be aware that you were lost in time; try to figure out or even schedule one thing each day you could do which you normally wouldn’t do…. if you did one new interesting / intriguing thing each day, it would create magic and mystery in your life – you would actually look forward to it each day, and you would look forward to the next day and the next… it would open your eyes to your own inner world.

When you can love yourself and who you are, others will come to you automatically. When you run from yourself, others will subconsciously run from you too.

Does this make sense at all? If I’ve misinterpreted your post, forgive me.