Dear Rookie:

I re-read all your posts here. I got a feel that you are a strong person, I got a “feel” of your strength, a certain strong independence of thinking and managing your mind and your life. Not without challenges of course, but good insight on your part. Anything I would suggest for you to consider, you already suggested yourself in your posts here. If you re-read your posts, everything I could possibly suggest is in your own writing.

More thoughts: about the guy, why ge got colder. Part of your feel for his coldness could be your expectation that he would be closer after you were physically intimate. Part of his coldness could be his expectation that you expect him to get closer, which … made him move away. This is all too soon to tell because you didn’t communicate enough in person, and may not be able to because of distance. Did you give yourself too soon, a point you brought up…?

I sense your loneliness, doesn’t take a genius to sense what is so natural for a human, a social animal by genetics. Your distant relationship with your family, living away from country of origin… having been distant from friends, keeping things in… naturally you were lonely and eager to connect oncwe you got in the same place with him, after all the hours of communication from a distance. Naturally you would be eager to be CLOSE.

I would encourage you cautiously getting close to people, selectively, evaluate and re-evaluate everyone with whom you interact, including him. Not waiting for him but continuing to live and practice everything available for you to practice in your life as is, communication with people included, a possible relationship with another man, included.

Anything else- please write more.
anita