Dear Melissa:

It would be so unfair to his sister to tell her anything about problems with your past relationship with her brother and on top of it to ask her not to talk with him about it. It will put such burden on her and it is just not right. You wrote she is lovely, well don’t make life more difficult for a lovely person than it has to be. If you meet her for coffee, I hope you talk about things other than the past relationship with her brother.

I do think you should talk with your ex boyfriend, the one who is relevant to your unfinished business and do let him know you found out about his involvement with his current girlfriend before he separated from you. You can just let him know, you can ask him for any information he may honestly provide for you. Definitely unfinished business with him puts a dark cloud over your present life and current relationship with James.

anita