Hi Melissa,

I understand how hard this is for you and how much pain you’re in. I agree with anita. I don’t think you should tell his sister. I have 3 brothers and enjoyed developing close friendships with their girlfriends, and even maintained some of those friendships after the breakups. But if an ex-girlfriend had taken me aside to tell me my brother had cheated on her, I probably would not have wanted to maintain contact with her. I love my brothers and it would hurt me to hear that news.

I go back and forth on this: I’m not sure you should even tell your ex-boyfriend that you know he cheated. Before doing anything, be clear on your intention. Is it to make yourself feel better or to make your ex feel worse? What if telling him doesn’t provide you with the peace of mind you think it will and ultimately makes a bigger mess. Maybe you should take the high road and leave it alone, as hard as it is. What’s done is done. I know you are hurt and angry that he got away with cheating, but eventually you will be ok. I know you will.