Hey everyone! Thanks again for all of your advice. I do sincerely appreciate it.

There has been a new development. Maybe this is an opportunity … or maybe not. You tell me.

In my original post, I mentioned that Stef has a chronic illness that will keep her from living a “normal life.” In the interest of full disclosure, she has Crohn’s disease. I had never heard of it before two years ago, but from the descriptions I’ve read, it sounds devastating. Not a happy diagnosis by any means.

On Monday, a mutual friend on Facebook posted a link that another woman (not my friend, but is Stef’s, and I know her) had posted. This other woman, Cindy, is preparing to run a marathon next month to raise money for Crohn’s research, and dedicated the run to Stef. She is asking for donations, and is about $300 short of her goal.

Cindy also said Stef is sick and may have to quit her job.

The website for donations includes a scrolling list thanking those who donated. About four or five people donated $100, and about six or seven donated $50. Many others donated less than that. I’m confident that Stef would see any donation Ann and I made. And the donation would absolutely be from “Ann and Sanguine Smith.”

Best case scenario: this would be a good opportunity to make a friendly gesture toward Stef, and show that I have Ann’s blessing for doing so. Worst case scenario: I guess it’s possible I could get an angry email from Stef telling me to leave her alone, and would take offense at the whole idea. Might also tick off Ann, but she is a very generous person (she bought a homeless man lunch at McDonald’s the other day). Honestly, if we made like a $20 donation and I never heard anything from Stef I would be OK with that — at least she would know that Ann and I are moved by her suffering and want to help find a cure.

Regardless of what happens, any donation would be well spent toward trying to find a cure for Crohn’s. Like I said, it sounds horrible. That’s really the most important part.

I have until early October. What should I do? I haven’t mentioned any of this to Ann yet.

@Lori: Yes, you totally get it.

@Anita: You make a good point. Another clarification: Ann told me once that she “doesn’t have a problem” with Stef, but she also added that she “doesn’t trust her.” She said she trusts me, but not her. I guess that means Ann thinks Stef would secretly love to have an affair with me. I seriously doubt that was ever considered by anyone, but if Ann really does think that then I do have a problem.