The first thing that came to mind when I read your story was “if we don’t control our thoughts, they will control us” (can’t remember who said it, but it’s a great quote) If you are ruminating on a past love that didn’t work, that means you are not past it and even if your new love is perfect for you, you may not be able to see it or be available for an authentic relationship with him. Practices such as meditation and journaling can help with the rumination. Coaching may also help you to work through your feelings and thoughts about your past relationship so you can show up fully in the one you have now. If you don’t work this out, you will continue to have this issue with every new relationship you have. Best to deal with it now and be done with it. Best of luck!
~Jodi