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Ayn Rand wrote “It is a moral crime to contribute to your own destruction” (or something like that). Yet most of us engage in self destructive thoughts and behaviors. What we sometimes fail to realize is that thoughts and behaviors are choices. If we take the time to examine our thinking, to build a strong philosophy and to live congruently with this, we are no longer in conflict. It’s often when we hold ideals that are not congruent with our thoughts and actions, the internal bully shows up because of contradiction. Either the ideal must change or the thoughts and behaviors. The bully is there to point out the contradiction. It’s just like pain, rarely the problem, just a message pointing out a problem. It’s an invitation to change one’s core philosophy or one’s way of life. Most people do not take the time to consciously choose their basic philosophical premises, so the adopt a philosophy of default. Fertile ground for the bully to appear.