Dear Jack:

I just heard most of the video. I turned it off when he started talking about feeling empathy for the bully, the Christian forgiveness thing. I believe that MY UNREPENTANT bully deserves empathy, only not my own. It is not the job of the bullied to empathize with one’s bully, it is not damaging to one’s healing. Not in the first ten years or so of healing- it is time to feel empathy for the bullied, for oneself, not for the bully, for crying out loud!

Anyway, I agree with anyone can bully anyone. That this is not an indication of the bullied inadequacy or deserving of the bullying.

What you describe about Ron’s bullying you for not protecting yourself or for not fighting the external bully, that is common. The internal bully bullying you for not fighting the external bully. Well, fighting the internal bully makes sense then, that is “Put your whip down!” You don’t listen to Ron or me listening to Ramona. Ron and Ramona they just stand there with their whip ready to whip, no use talking to them, just make them put the whip down. Then you talk to someone else, the healthy inner critic, think about effective ways to deal with an external bully, think when CALM, not while being bullied by the internal bully.

I have a better understanding through IST, Ruminator Ramona and will practice it today, following the latest attacks.

anita