@Anita:
What about Buddhism did she expose to you? It’s been a while, but she basically taught me about mindfulness and meditation, and breathing exercises… really didn’t delve much further than that as far as I can remember.

What is your understanding of the origin and development of your anxiety, depression and adult ADHD? My anxiety and depression have really taken off since moving out of my parents’ house. At this point it is not really a viable option for my little family to move back with them. About 2 years ago, we moved from my fiancée’s mother’s house, to a 5th Wheel Travel Trailer, sitting next to their house (because we can’t afford to live off their property right now). At first it was just a relief to be out of there and have some space, but as we have a toddler now, and two dogs one weighing 100 lbs the other weighing about 60. It is a small space as you can imagine – aprox. 26 feet long, and maybe 10 or 12 feet wide at its widest? With all of our stuff in there, as well, it makes it very hard not to bump get on each others’ nerves.

We have been trying and trying to get into our own place – but every time there is hope we seem to have it yanked out from underneath us. It has really taken a toll on us, honestly… and it has gotten real old, real fast, about 10 times ago. It has been literally every time we have some glint of hope… I try to stay positive, and I try to keep thinking that there is something out there that is going to work but it just keeps not working out.

As my son grows things get more complicated and less and less suitable for living in a trailer. I have been feeling this ever growing sense of urgency every since my son started walking more and being more active. Something has to change in our living situation and soon, or it will become a hell of a lot more intense (in a potentially bad way).

The ADHD has been a thing since I was a kid – not really much to say there.

@Jennifer – Thank you for your support! I do think the taking a moment to breath and center myself will help.

Any time my son does something, is a happy moment for me. His smile lights up the room, he is sweet as can be…
I love to draw, and I love animals. Those things make me happy. I wish my life was simple again and I could just focus on those things, as well as my son obviously.

I have a lot of difficulty feeling positive, because any time I feel positive about a situation it tends to go wrong. My fiancée feel like we have been cursed. Everything goes wrong. We have been trying so, so hard to get to a better place for over 2 years now. It is driving us insane. I don’t know how to cope or what to do. We need space, we need a house, we need support. But everyone around us seems to either “not be able to help” or put all sorts of impossible conditions to meet, or people are just greedy.

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Thank you all for your responses and support, it is what I need right now.