I also quietly suffer from depression. I say quietly because not many plp know. Some know it comes and goes but they see me as a man who helps everyone, big smile and just good to others… But I am dying inside n I can’t speak to anyone. I try and I can’t. Depression has ruined my life and now I hide behind my phone desperately looking for answers. Two days ago, I layed out bunch of pills and came close to taking them all now am afraid the next time i will. I have suffered form this but a recent act triggered it. I am seeing a girl for two and half years, she has 3 kids and I have 2 but we don’t live together. He daughter has a disability and her father lives out of state. Last year, she visited him for Chirstmas and during that time she was unfaithful. I love her and decided to keep working on our relationship but since them my depression and mistrust spiral. She is up there again because the kids mother is dying of cancer but they are staying at his house. The mistrust is killing me and don’t know if to be understanding or to let her go. She is all I have, she is the only person I talk to, my only friend and I just feel without her am lost. I have been so depressed and just cannot change it…help