Yeah. Just not sure to stop blaming myself, getting rid of the block and setting my emotions free so I can hopefully heal. Ah okay so bullies don’t see when they are hurting others sometimes? D: Eh I don’t understand them really. The bullies like on dA will keep going at it over and over and over, even after you blocked them, etc. Guess they don’t get it :/ I will admit I love my mom and dad sometimes, and my grandma but the things they said/done still bothers me sometimes especially if IF obsess over it too much? Maybe it means I am not over what happened or it’s my inner demons just wanting to get at me. I am more assertive but I feel like even then sometimes people don’t listen. My mom is one of those people that likes to take everything said the wrong way and there’s been periods when I don’t contact. I live with my dad and see my grandma often maybe once a month or so or less. My mom lives hours away thankfully. She and my sister honestly drove me to wanting to end my life many times to be honest.

Thanks for the advice too Humour. Interesting bit about the trusting bit and stuff. I guess I don’t trust myself, I don’t know, plus I don’t know why I tend to believe what nasty people say about me. No idea why it just happens :/ I have a hard time of ignoring it or whatever. I guess I just want people to believe my truth or not judge me so harshly like if I block trolls or bullies. It makes me think I’m the bad person because the way they talk to me makes me think I’m the bad one not them.