Dear Pria,

Just going back to Anita’s point…the present situation sometimes triggers unhappy thoughts from the past. Perhaps you were abandoned or someone you trusted did not keep their promise in your childhood…and it is triggering events from very long time ago (childhood)…then the current past (husband) and the present (your interaction with your husband now). We need to shine light on this in order to fully heal ourselves in the present.

I found keeping a journal very handy. When I was getting over previous relationships where I felt betrayed…I would write all my thoughts and feelings down. Then slowly, you can look back and see what are the triggers.

Just to share, I personally had attachment issues from my childhood that affected all my romantic relationships. When someone didn’t keep their promise, it would take me months to get over it. It started when I was young, my parents were too busy working all the time. My grandma took care of me when I was 2 years old…she was also taking care of my 3 and 8 year old cousins. But within a couple of months…because she could not handle having 3 grandkids at the same time…and me being the “newest addition” was kicked out of the house. I had to board with a nanny and didn’t see my parents for 5 days a week from when I was 2 to 5 years old. I felt betrayed and abandoned by my family. It has affected every one of my romantic relationship until now. It is only recently that I was able to tie my present attachment issues to my past. It is crazy how the past can dictate our current daily lives.

If you are struggling too…I suggest seeking a good therapist…uncover what’s under the wraps…get to the bottom of the issues.

Take good care. Keep us posted.
Jennifer