Marisol,

“I am so sorry that you have had to endure such a horrible relationship however it is really good to know that someone out there is going through some of the same things I am.” I am sorry that you had to endure such a bad relationship as well. It’s not easy to deal with people like our exes, and it’s definitely hard to get rid of them. I am glad that my experience with my ex gives us some common ground. I know that advice comes easy to most people. But often the best advice comes from people who have been in similar circumstances.

You are right. When everything catches up to them, that’s when they’ll want us most. However, as tempting as it might be, don’t give in. Your ex has already caused you enough harm. Let him fix his own problems. Don’t help him, you’ve already done too much for him. He does not deserve you.

Since it hasn’t been so long since your breakup, do what you need to do. Get angry, get sad, cry, etc. This is your time to grieve and let go of everything. Focus on healing yourself and understand that what happened is not your fault.

Thank you for your concern. I am indeed doing well. Although I must admit that I still miss my ex every now and then. I am tempted sometimes to hear from him or to try and help him, but I just keep reminding myself of everything he did to me. I hope that you are doing well too and I hope that you stay strong and move on with your life.

It’s great that you realize that you do not owe him anything. That realization itself makes it easier to step away from your ex. Because indeed you do not owe anything to him.

Indeed you are correct. He does not deserve the privilege to be your friend, and he would most definitely end up exploiting that. I speak from experience. During some really weak times after me and my ex broke up, he got in contact with me and said he wanted us to be friends. It was all okay at first but then he asked me to get information on some of my acquaintances that he had serious issues with. He also had me give him advice on some girls he liked, etc. I gave into his requests because I loved him. I didn’t realize how badly he was using me at that point. I was blinded by him. I thought I was doing the good thing, acting civil, being his friend, for old times sake. However, when the roles were reversed and I needed advice or a shoulder to lean on he was never available. And when he wasn’t asking for favors, he would try to rub it in my face all the girls he was with, etc. So yeah, don’t bother being his friend.

Well, regardless of what he says or does, take it with a grain of salt. Don’t take him seriously. Ignore him and keep in mind the kind of person he is. Stay strong and take it one day at a time. If you are ever having an especially hard time, post on here again. I’ll try to convince you that he’s not worth it. Or if you want to just get it off your chest, then post as well.