Hello,

I have been going through a similar situation, though for me hope of any relationship again (with the ex) has now gone.

I had been with my partner 9 years since my late teens, I was totally sold that this was it. We were engaged, we discussed kids and marriage etc. Now he is with someone else, this happened just a few months after our breakup. So whilst I am repairing several pieces of a broken heart he is off enjoying himself (I assume).

I have never been single as an adult and now I am approaching 30 with no experience of dating and with only 1 relationship behind me! It is hard work and before it ended I basically begged him to take me back, something I will NEVER do again because I feel such a fool now.

I like you thought my world was over and no longer saw the point in anything, I spent weeks in bed, I refused to eat, I cried the way to and from work when I could face it, and on breaks, and cried self to sleep – the times that I could sleep that is. Even when I did sleep it was dreams of him and her, things my mind was throwing together.

I have not completed my healing journey yet but things that helped me and continue to help me, and I dread to think where I would be now without all of this : Counsellor (I was already seeing her from a family bereavement), an EFT – emotional freedom technique therapist – meditation – reading all sorts of blogs, stories, break up books, my friends and family time when I did drag self from bed, I also took a holiday on my own to America (organised tour), got some independence back and that felt amazing, did things I wouldn’t usually (festivals etc). Also don’t try and rush your feelings, if you need to cry then cry, if you need to scream then scream. It cannot stay in or it will eat you up.

I saw him and her in our local town afew days ago shopping and felt instant pain and anxiety but after that I felt abit relieved that it was finally done with and that I could go wherever I wanted and I wouldn’t die just from seeing them. He looked happy and I love/loved him so I want him to be happy. Part of my heart will always belong to him I think.

It still hurts some days but I guess what I am trying to say is that time WILL help it and I hated everyone that said that to me. Focus all your energy, attention and love back on yourself because life does and will carry on with or without him.

I hope you start to feel better soon.