Thank you for your help Anita. I have been on the antidepressants since the breakup, I am on Cipralex 20mg, it does feel like it helps but it feels like I am putting a band aid on a wound that should be left open to heal. I do still get emotional and do still cry at times when I find myself thinking too much about all of this.

From what I get from him I am also left with not knowing exactly why he isn’t happy. In my mind our relationship was just the same for most of the 2 years that we were together. When I ask him what it is that he wants to do then he tells me that he doesn’t know, that he just doesn’t feel like himself and that I am happy to just relax at home where he needs more than just this. It isn’t really like me to just sit around doing nothing but when he was there with me and he wanted my attention then I gave it to him and didn’t do other things around the house, ect. I feel like he needed my attention a lot in the relationship and I did make time when he was there to give this to him but maybe this wasn’t enough for him? He says that I am also a lot calmer than him, too calm in fact. He also said that we have two completely different personalities but I never saw this as an issue. He also said that I don’t do much on my own outside of the relationship, but this is how I have always been, I have a few close friends and I do socialize with them every now and then but they are also married and have their husbands to attend to. I have hobbies that I do at home which I know he isn’t interested in which is okay with me because these are my things that I enjoy. I have also recently bought my own business that keeps me busy, he told me that he is envious of my attention to my business and he knows that isn’t how he should be feeling, that he should support me but he doesn’t. He is also successful with his own business and I have always allowed him the time and respect to do what he needs to do for his business. I really love him and felt like out relationship was meant to be, I didn’t realize that he wasn’t happy until it is too late for me to have a chance in making it work. I am really scared that he meets someone else in this “time” apart and this is the worst feeling for me. This is constantly on my mind as I don’t have very clear answers from him. He said that he doesn’t want to just abandon me, that he hates leaving me in such an emotional state but he needs time. Originally I gave him a few days to re-think his decision to just leave, and that’s when he came back with telling me that he needs time, he doesn’t know how much or how long but he just needs to be away. I don’t know if he is saying he needs time just to keep me feeling like I am not abandoned at the moment, but I also don’t want to be stringed a long only to discover that it was never his intention to come back. When we last saw each other he told me that he needs to miss me and want to come “home” but he doesn’t feel this yet.