Jenny, your insight has proven to be a huge benefit to me as I can see so many similarities. Please don’t apologize for the length of the post, and know that I was not offended or hurt by your thoughts. Again, I agree with you completely. She really needs time for herself without interference. I know her ex never gave that to her, and I still don’t think she has the courage to ask for it. Perhaps if he had really left her alone after their relationship ended… after he moved across the country… and before she ever met me… she could have had an easier time in our relationship. That is a what if though, and not a truth.

I feel sad that she was reading up on our old conversations on facebook, and that she accidentally hit that poorly placed (and rather stupid) thumbs up button. I know that must have felt very embarrassing. She’s one to spend time reflecting. She always saved the random notes I wrote her and the pictures I sent to her. She even kept a picture of me by her bed, and the teddy bear I gave her on her pillow. She held on to a lot that I gave her in our strange time together. I used to find some confidence knowing she did that.
I’m sure my absence is hurting, and I hurt knowing that she hurts. But like we have talked about, it’s time I just focused on healing myself. She has to heal herself.

The feelings that have resurfaced today will slowly leave again, and maybe this time next week I will have more confidence back. I don’t plan on doing anything more than I have been now, even though she has sent words to me. I hate that I can’t respond (even if I just said that the mistaken message was okay) but I know it would just be messy if I did.

This is just something I felt I needed to write out since it’s been on my mind.

Thank you again for reading.