Thank you so much for your response ! I swear I haven’t gotten this much support anywhere and it feels good ! I agree with everything that you are saying. This morning I found myself at the beach torn once again because the situation just did not feel right. I ended up deciding that I am no one’s back burner. What I know very well are his patterns of behavior and this situation is where we were a year ago while he was cheating. He is always attempting to keep me around while he goes off and has his fun because I do believe that ultimately he feels like I am the long term plan for his life. I understand being young and having your fun but what makes me the most upset is the inability to see that this time in our lives is only temporary so why not make the correct decisions ? I am also really young however I understand the importance of people and relationships and wont waste meaningful connections on temporary flings. I think it is a lesson that he needs to learn because he doesn’t exactly believe or understand that there will not be anyone that will be there for him like I was and maybe that something he needs to figure out on his own. I thought really hard about what I was going to do because honestly for a bit I thought I would just go back and try once more. I thought about what he was really asking me to do and also a lot of the points you were making as far as this being a decision that we are both making. I understand that the relationship isn’t about power but I really took to heart that while I am feeling helpless I really have so much power in the situation. In a really fucked up cruel way that no one can understand I do feel as if he loves me and I feel like I need to use that and this situation to my advantage. I think the power dynamics in our relationship are partly my fault because I was so afraid to lose him that I let go a lot of what I believed in thus not enforcing boundaries. It isn’t an excuse it is a lesson I have learned and will apply here and in other relationships. In a crazy way I believe that the universe is recreating this situation in order for me to do the right thing for myself! This is exactly how it manifested the last time and he would ask me to wait a couple of weeks for him to “fix” things. I ended up texting him this ” After giving it some thought I understand everything you were saying yesterday and I completely agree ! No need to have a follow up convo about this matter, I see what you were trying to get through to me.” I wanted it to be really friendly however little does he know , is that I am again starting no contact in attempts to move on. I don’t want to lie and say that I don’t have hopes of us being together in the future. I see a lot of potential in him if he was willing to just change these ways of his. I do feel like it takes losing someone to realize what they were worth but how could he even begin to do that when I never allow him the space to feel like I am gone forever? I think it is his time to suffer now. (Not trying to be vindictive just being real)