B,

I’m not sure if he has any desire to hear from me again. One thing that puzzled me when he called to break up was that he said that he didn’t want to end contact with me, and that if I were to ever need anything, or need someone to talk to, to please reach out to him. Forgive me, but it’s been awhile since I last dated, and I was never provided a copy of the Dating 101 handbook – but I found it strange that a person wanting out of a relationship would even suggest remaining in contact with the very person he wants to leave. It just didn’t make sense to me. I remember a week after our relationship ended where I reached out to him and asked why he still wanted to remain on friendly terms, and why it was so easy for him to “re-categorize” me from girlfriend to friend so early on in the breakup. He didn’t really have a straight answer for me. I suggested that maybe it wasn’t a good idea to remain in contact with one another anymore – he became silent and then stated that he didn’t want to do that, just in case I ever found myself stranded and needed someone to help me. I just found his response bizarre…it confused me, and I ended up overanalyzing everything he had said during the weeks that followed.

I don’t feel that we were incompatible at all. I felt that we had a really good connection…we both wanted the same things out of life…we accepted each other immediately…we complemented one another very well. I felt that we really enjoyed one another. I don’t know…after some time has passed and the dust finally settles I’m not sure how either one of us will feel about one another anymore…

I’m not afraid of anything, I just feel that it’s easier for me to accept that I’m never going to hear from or see this person again, and that I need to move on with my life, just like he will with his. It’s nice to think of what could have been, but doing so doesn’t change the fact that our relationship expired. We aren’t together anymore. I lost my girlfriend privileges and I have to move on, plain and simple. I don’t want to make the same mistake that I made in my last relationship by “holding on” – it didn’t do me any good and only prolonged my pain. I don’t want to drag this breakup’s healing process on any longer than it has to. I don’t want to spend my days hoping and praying that he’ll come back to me…because it’s pointless, and I’m wasting my time by doing so. There’s no guarantee that he will reach back out to me…there’s no guarantee that he will accept me again…and there’s no guarantee that he will even want to reconcile…but one thing that I know I can be sure of is that I WILL move on from this. I’ve gotten to the point in my grieving process where I’m ready to rely on certainty rather than uncertainty.

No need to apologize for the questions – I don’t mind answering…

Until next time…

– Jenny