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Hi Name
Your post was very hard to read – I really do feel for you. The posts in response had some very good advice but I think one thing is very important and that is to DO something. It’s easy for me to write that and I realise that it is much harder to do when you’re depressed but its essential to break out of the cycle of feeling too tired and down to take the initiative and therefore feeling more down because you’ve ‘failed’.
I think of all the advice that has been given the best is to find someone to talk to. Has your school got a counsellor you could approach? Is there even one of your friends who is more thoughtful and genuine than the rest? Is there anyone in your family? I’m not religious myself but I know friends who have gained help by talking to people from their church. Is there a teacher you could talk to? Is there a youth counselling or support organisation in your area?