Dear Mellisa:

Thank you for the update! Good to see you back here.

As to why he didn’t open your email, this is as clear as day to me: he didn’t want to feel badly. Who wants to feel bad? Nobody I know. We all try to avoid feeling badly: hurt, angry, afraid, ashamed… anything that doesn’t feel good or neutral. So him not opening your email means that as he read who the email is from and as he read what he couldn’t help but read, because it was there.. what is certain is that he didn’t feel neutral about it, that he felt something unpleasant.

That or he had a medical emergency or other emergency then and since, of course. (Just for the sake of possibilities).

It is most likely and obviously so, that he is not open or willing to attend to the relationship with you, to learning what he needs to learn from it, etc. He is not interested in doing that. It really, in reality then, does not matter what you write to him and what he reads, it just makes no difference. He is closed. All you can do is cause him to feel badly for a moment, at best, nothing else. This is how I view it.

Please keep posting. The hurt you experience from that relationship, unfortunately, is for you to heal from- he is not going to help you with that. He is not there to help you. It is sad that people who hurt us do not take responsibility for hurting us and do not try to correct it. But this is the world we live in. This is one unfair and unjust … feature of the way life is.

What do you think? If you agree with my last assertions, how do you live with life being unfair this way?

anita