Dear cath:

It seems like it is over, whatever the full extent of the story, isn’t it? There was a possibility at one point but you chose your job in your hometown and he chose to stay in this town. You feel emptiness, loneliness. When you lived with him you were not so lonely but you were troubled by his connection to his ex girlfriend and sometimes he was not nice to you and that hurt.

Now you are away from those hurts and from seeing him on the computer communicating with his ex girlfriend… Since you are away from him now, since it is over, at least take advantage of the freedom from his behaviors that you didn’t like.

I tend to think that if your relationship with him was wonderful, that you would have gone back to him after he found a job and was able to sustain you. There were problems there. Only now you are so lonely and feel so much emptiness, you forget how much you were troubled when you lived with him and when the relationship was ongoing.

Do you feel this way? That because you are so lonely, you forget how badly it often was and you only remember the good times?

Try to see the whole picture, include everything in your memory of what was. Nostalgia is remembering only the positive and forgetting the negative. Remember everything. It wasn’t … that good.

See the loneliness for what it is. It is not the end of your world… it only feels like it sometimes, doesn’t it?

Take care of yourself, cath, write anytime.

anita