That makes a lot of sense to me Anita, I think it is very true. I am heartbroken because this love didn’t work out like I believed it would. I felt love from her, but only to the extent she was able to give it… and that wasn’t enough. I need to love and be loved fully.

The fluctuation of feelings and their intensity is making my days feel like years. I felt like I started this thread last week and realized just now it was only two days ago.

By yesterday evening I was still feeling strong, like I’m doing the right thing moving on. Then right before I fell asleep I missed her again… and I woke up this morning feeling like my heart had broken all over again. I spent my morning commute asking myself what would happen if I reached out to her. If I just asked how she was doing, or if I asked if we could meet for coffee. Is there something she could say to make me believe she really loves me? Am I missing my only chance to make this work by not reaching out now, while it’s still fresh? The thoughts are probably not worth entertaining, but I allow myself to for the short duration of my car ride. Now it is time to look past the emotional side and towards the logical side… where all signs point to do nothing and keep living day by day.

I’m sure I’ll feel better as the day moves on, but I don’t look forward to feeling those thoughts again, which I know I will.