Dear Amy:

First thing I thought, before I read your post above, and after I wrote you the last one was your strength. I mentioned your honesty and clarity of thinking but after the post on a walk I took, I thought about the strength, that energy of yours. I thought about the combination of the Honesty, the Clarity of thinking and that Energy, that strength and I thought to myself, what an amazing combination and what an incredible potential.

As I read your last post, i am thinking … no I don’t think you are delusional about the reality of the situation. Like I wrote, your clarity of thinking is amazing to me. It is the lack of emotional acceptance of the reality of the situation that is lacking, this is why you feel stuck, why you are more distressed than you would have been if you emotionally accepted the situation.

You wrote that you changed from a strong, independent, kind and loving person… but I do see you as strong. You wrote you changed to a “meek” person. Meek? No way are you meek. No way. Not possible, I can’t imagine me being wrong about this. I don’t think you were ever meek… even though yes, I only know you from these posts.

Terrified, I believe you are that, and I do hope this will change. This is why I suggest aiming at Emotional Acceptance of your situation. At my worst life situations, circumstances I lived in which would make yours fancy in comparison… I remember I had to accept those situations to survive mentally. I was not healing at the time, just surviving and to just survive I had to stop giving myself a hard time about living in those situations. There was calm in that. For you, I wish acceptance because it will be easier for you… and then I wish that you would do the healing process sooner than I did.

Resisting is futile. I may have had other thoughts earlier, now it is not so important. What is most urgent is emotionally accepting that this is your life. Look around, see everything that you are seeing, all of it and take it in, breathing it all in, relaxing into it, relaxing into what is your life.

Can you try to do that… and write me again..?

anita