I love that you were so open with this post because it makes me realize how im not alone. I literally feel the same way, i have a great boyfriend, a great family and a decent place to live and im constantly always overthinking and feeling a struggle going on internally. I think if he really loves you he wouldnt be jealous of your job AT ALL, love is wanting the other person to be happy selflessly, regardless of his depression or situation, he should never portray any signs of jealousy because that comes from a selfish state of mind, youre his girlfriend he should be happy that youre striving for success. As human beings we can never come to a moment of complete satisfaction as long as we have desire. You need to learn how to be content with yourself, and your life, and be content with the way things are, however dont let this stop you from striving to be your best self. Fear is the opposite of love, and it sounds like its ruining you right now because you feel like youll never know if theres a ” right one” But all of that “right one” is bs, if you feel a connection with that person and they feel the same exact way toward you, and you want them to be happy and they want you to be happy then thats all that matters. You cant be stuck in the future or the past and you cant worry about wasting time either because that itself is wasting time. You just have to ask yourself, do i really want to be with this person? are we benefiting eachothers lives for the better? Do i actually selflessly love this person for who they are despite all their flaws? Love isnt supposed to be all butterflies and rainbows, when you truly love someone you learn to accept all their flaws, even if hes depressed youll get through it with him if you really cherish him as a person . Be greatful for what you have in your life now, even the tiniest things, and you will accumulate so much more just by sending out feelings of gratitude into the universe. Dont think ten steps ahead, always live in the present moment because its all that you have, all of the time, its always here, if you get caught up in the future or the past then you will lose yourself completely because youre worrying about situations that havent even happened yet , and still allowing yourself to be the person you were in your past relationships, which will stop you from growing into a person you want to be ! i hope this helped and i wish you the best 🙂