Dear Amy:

I know that it is possible for you to have no contact with the man. And it is necessary for your well being. The distress the contact with him causes you is overwhelming and is damaging to you, physically. You may survive it physically but maybe not.

Please do give it some thought, how this can be achieved, have an open mind about it. Maybe it will take talking to him and telling him how important it is that you have no contact with him…? Maybe even he will cooperate? Maybe it will take talking to the court, letting them know you do and will follow court orders but it is (choose your words) killing you and you need to protect your own life and well being and you are asking the court for ways to cooperate with their rulings AND protect yourself. Explain to them that you cannot handle contact with him. Maybe the social worker (although when she told you she can’t help you, this makes me doubt her competence!)

Of course you have been overthinking this so much, because of your distress… if you can go back to square one (a Beginner’s Mind) on this, start with: need no contact with the man, and go from there…

From my personal experience I know one person with whom I cut contact eventually… every single time I saw her I regressed mentally, I became sick from mere contact, just hearing her voice, seeing her face, or worst: feeling the touch of her hand. Contact had to be stopped, completely.

Aim at this…will you, Amy?

anita