Dear Dina and Adam:

The experience with you, Dina, in the latest posts, greatly humbled me. I realize a day later that I was too eager to get Adam to view his girlfriend the way I do. I became personally motivated, no longer calm and clear. This is why my latest posts to Adam have been so long. In my eagerness I didn’t notice that I shouldn’t have copied, pasted and commented on your reply to Adam. I was too eager to answer all of Adam’s questions and to make him (yes, make him) see what I was seeing.

This is the nature of personal motivation, one that goes beyond simply seeing the truth. It makes people too eager and it makes people hurt other people.

Only after my posts to you, Dina, on this thread, did I realize that it was you that recently reached out to me on another thread to tell me that you appreciate me helping people on this forum. You told me I was kind. Remembering that made me hurt more about hurting you, disappointing you. You reached out to me with good will, a loving act, just like you did with Adam, trying to help, encourage another… and you got hurt in return.

When I disrespected your post to Adam, I did not intend to hurt you. I even thought (a quick thought) that you would like the attention. But my lack of intent to hurt you does not change the fact that I did hurt you. And so, in my efforts to help others (and myself) I hurt you, the person who reached out to me with a loving post before!

I am learning from this that I need to only reply to the original poster on any one thread. Comment not, analyze not, discuss not any post on a thread other than the original poster’s posts. Except for one I can think of at this point: when someone replying is telling his or her personal story, and that person is presently distressed. Then I will (and did in the past) ask that person to tell more of his or her story.

I am learning to not get .. eager, to let people be, think for themselves: the thoughts and choices of another person are not my responsibility.

Dina, i hope you are reading this and I do regret hurting you. I feel pain over having done so, over hurting a person who reached out to me with … a loving act/ post. I am truly, sincerely, authentically sorry.

anita