Hi,

So I took my day of relaxation and really enjoyed it. I knew he was coming around for the evening and was trying to decide what do do, I thought I would see what happens when he came round. He seemed off, distant, I wasn’t feeling happy around him. The next day I saw a message on his phone to his ex partner, saying he would like to take her out for dinner. I confronted him, he said it wasn’t what it looked like etc. etc.

I ended it, but then couldn’t help but keep messaging him to tell him how I felt or even maybe to try to work it out again, I don’t know why I did that! Last night after messaging he said we wouldn’t work and I haven’t and won’t, respond.

But now I just have this terrible feeling of dread and loss, my stomach is clenched and hurting and it’s horrible because I know he did me wrong, I know he was not right for me and didn’t make me happy, I know he lied countrless times, but yet I can’t stop this great sadness- I feel lost, like I’m just living in a daze, going through the motions, not being able to feel happy about anything. My long term relationship ended after nearly 7 years last year, I thought I had found happiness again and then after a few months it’s all over and I am back to square one- I have so many thoughts going around in my head, memories, flashbacks… I don’t know to feel happy and strong.