Exactly Anita. My heart and my mind were in a very troubled conflict before. I could not stop lying to myself. It’s funny because everyone around me could see it all- except me. But now that I see it myself I could forgive and let him go off my life. Also-cutting touch with him has substantially decreased my anxiety to the point that I haven’t taken my medicines for a few days in a row already. So…he was trouble and damaging me.
In the meantime I have to deal with my parents splitting up – but that’s not torning me apart as much as toxic (now I know that) ex was to me.