Dear Wendy:

I like your sanity! How refreshing! And I mean it: sanity is refreshing.

And I like your spirit here: distancing yourself from his perspective so to see, restate and honor your own perspective. And it is wise for you to do so, because your perspective, as expressed above, is rooted in sanity and his- is not.

Please do think of the future: if you are intend to have children (?) sometime in the future, it will be cruel to knowingly (and you know) bring a child into a world where his father will negatively criticize the child “for his/ her own good!”

Regarding him adapting or changing: here is the secret of how you can tell if he is changing: if he starts seeing his childhood the way it was. Without you telling him this … secret. This is how you know. When he confronts the fact that he himself was harshly criticized as a child. And watch for manipulations like the silent treatment and insincere talk.

Please do keep posting.

anita