Dear Ravi:

You may be wondering about the relevance of your grandmother to your relationship with Jerry. I see much relevance and believe that looking into it will help in your relationship with Jerry and otherwise. I need to go back to page one of our correspondence and quote something you wrote there into this post, comment on it, then on a second post today quote something else you wrote on page one and comment on it. Maybe do so a third time.

Here is the first quote: “Recently another close friend got somewhat jealous of my bond with the girl I love. And when she expressed it to me, I don’t know how but my temper flared up and I told her, ‘So what do you want? Do you consider her an obstacle, do you want that *censored* to die so I will be with you only?’ I truly have started hating myself for such behaviour.”

Your temper flared out recently with a girl. You didn’t understand it and hated yourself for the expression of your anger. As I wrote before, there is a valid message behind your anger. If I am correct about your grandmother, and you indicated that I am right to a good extent, then what happened in the incident of the quote is that you projected your grandmother into the girl and you talked to her as if she was your grandmother, saying to her something like: you want me all to yourself, so you want to kill anyone who may take me away from you!

Understanding your anger at this girl, where it comes from, will make you see that there is nothing wrong with you, that you simply angry at something wrong done to you by your grandmother.

anita