E,
I am going through something very similar to what you went through. Its been two weeks that my guy ended it and my relationship is almost replica of yours without the ring.
honestly, i am still struggling with it but i will tell you one thing, this experience has really taught me what true love means. I am learning to like/love myself now. I always went from relationships to relationships and gave in to the very aggressive men who were “in love” with me in days to our meeting. It really hurts to know that you were just a phase in their life but when you internalize those feelings, you will see that they were also just a phase in your life too. I have been reading a lot on this website and trying to meditate every morning to stop having dreams about him. I blamed myself for not ending my relationship when I knew it wasn’t going to work. on some level all of us know when its not working but we hang on because of our fear of being alone. I am trying to face my fears everyday and let myself be alone. I cry every morning and in the evening when i know its really over but I am trying to embrace that pain to give myself the respect I deserve to have tried as hard as i did.
please give yourself some credit for trying again and fighting for what you want like a warrior. I believe in love and i will always hang on to that believe but for now, i want to be with me. I want to love me.

please keep reading inspirational books and blogs to help you through this process. Read about the women who spent all their lives with people they didn’t even know. Read about people depriving themselves of love all their lives and thank god you didn’t marry that man.

take care of yourself. you are not alone.

Sapna