Hi Christina,
I am not sure what you want from this Tiny Buddha community.

Are you looking for encouragement? just to be listened to? advice?

It seems you are conflicted with your certainity that you do not want to be with your husband and your fears of the consequences of divorce.

There is no one easy answer for there are a multitude of consequences for either which you have already identified.

Even though a lot of us have been through something similar, I feel that it is not any of our places to advise you in your own unique situation (my opinion of course). We do not really know you or your husband or your children. We don’t know your financial situation.

Perhaps a professional counselor just for you to assist you in your decision making process?

Good luck,
Mark