Hannah,

I have to agree with Matt’s comment. Allowing these thoughts to stay in your head is prolonging what is clearly agony for you. It is preventing you from healing and is scarring you too – think of picking at a wound… It is not easy to say but comes from experience that you need to leave these thoughts alone in order that they can disappear from your mind for good. It is within you somewhere to find the strength that you will need to change your thought processes. Whenever ‘he’ comes into your mind think immediately of something else, something good and beautiful for example. Letting go of the thoughts means accepting it is over and that thought is excruciatingly painful. But you know that it is over, really you do… Please be strong for yourself. Do not let these thoughts waste any more of your precious life.
Also with warmth
Jo