Hi Tai,

I think it’s very important that you stop asking for people’s approval. Even though you think, you rebel against the system, deep inside you need acceptance and try to please everyone, I think. I’m just talking from my own experience, as well. With me it was buddhism and one film that I watched that finally changed my thinking. You need to set yourself free. I recommend you articles on self-compassion: http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/06/27/5-strategies-for-self-compassion/
Just make yourself comfortable and talk to yourself as a loving parent or the one that would love you the most in the world if they were there with you, what they would say to you? “I know you are suffering, it’s okay… you are wonderful… you have right to feel that way…” They would love you exactly for the way you are. Imagine them giving you a hug you and making you feel ‘at home’. Simply imagine somebody that you are looking for, the person that is in love with YOU. Imagine somebody that loves you more than even your parents do. With time, you will start thinking the same yourself.

Try to think if your parents showed you that you are the most amazing being in the world or they didn’t. I just see the same thinking tendency in children and teens I’m teaching in school. I recommend you this book: http://www.amazon.com/Toxic-Parents-Overcoming-Hurtful-Reclaiming/dp/0553381407/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1371985233&sr=1-1&keywords=toxic+parents

Be happy!