Thanks Maria for responding,
It has been around 1.5 month! I have thought about doing that 100 times, but something is holding me back from messaging him. I agree about having time and understanding, I’ve been working on that during this time, but I realized, his memory keeps coming back to me and I haven’t had closure, I don’t know why, maybe I am scared to get a bad answer, maybe I don’t want to face the truth, but something strongly is holding me back from contacting him, I was hoping to move on without doing that, I don’t know why I feel like I have to wait, it feels like a time of non action. Like when I am myself and calm and, I am happy that I didn’t contact him and I think it feels right not to, but when I start rememebring him and our times together, or how he left things, my ego pops in and I get upset and angry and I want to message. So I am hoping something other than contacting would help me move on, because I feel like my ego wants to message not the real me.
Thanks again for the thoughts 🙂