Oh Anne.. It’s been 6 months? Honestly that kind of breaks me a little, I don’t think I can handle life if this pain can last that long 🙁

It happened again today. Yesterday I wrote down a list of things I don’t like about him and how we’ll never work together. I felt great afterwards reading it to my sister. I also got hit on at 2 different times yesterday, one even got my number (but hasnt called yet..) and it made me feel even better that I am still desirable. But today.. I woke up again with that desperate urge to know what he’s been up to, and checking only hurt me more.

I can’t stop wondering how he can move on from me so easily considering all of the things he said and did for me in the past. I just want an answer why. Even if he does has a new girl, I’d want to know because that would make more sense than a sudden “we don’t get along”.

I feel so much pain that I believe the only way to stop it is either sleep or suicide. Of course I don’t want to die, but the thought has came to me pretty often when I’m feeling like this in the morning. Anything would be better than missing someone who doesn’t miss me.